I don't know how to get out of this.

Don't you hate when your parents make you feel like you aren't enough.

And the problem is that if you tell them how you feel they will deny that that was their intention. And that you should feel bad, but can't they realize that you are burning in hell because of the guilt of the initial problem and them blaming you.

Lately my dad and mom had make me feel like shit, like they were saving all the bad things that I've been doing till now. Even things that I did years ago.

Sure I can handle a couple of "Don't do it again". But you know you aren't sleeping at night when they say "I refused to believe my girl could have done something like that"... Or your father call you fucking stupid with indirects.

AND they choose bad times 'cause it's not like I'm pooping flowers. I'm having a bad time with some friends.

But whatever I'll try to get my mind of the subject with music or something.

Yesterday I tried to get out of the world and put an update on twitter saying something like sorry but today I'm taking it for myself for the first time. And of course I thought everybody will get it, but I received like 3 replys saying "I NEED YOU", just making me feel worse for not being there with my friends. I'm sorry, I'm truly am.

OH OH.. AND one tiny update about Nicholas; the moving on thingy is working:), I deleted all his messages already and took him out of my Favorites list :).

Anyways, I'm still stuck in the night without dreams, now seriously I don't know how to get out of it. But my daydreams are awesome, though I have this feeling that the inspiration will end pretty soon.

"They'll fall asleep without you...;You're lucky if your memory remains."

My imaginary boyfriend who is VERY REAL.

So this is a funny history :).

Two of my best friends are a couple now, so one day as a joke I said my future boyfriend Jacob , would be so much better.

The thing is I liked the joke.

I made up a whole character and I can't stop thinking about him.

The story of me and Jacob is that he will be in my school next year, and I will meet him there. But he lives like 2 houses away from mine, and he has a twin sister so I can use as an excuse to visit him so my mom will let me go.

We will be those kind of couples that are sick lovely and all that shit.

My friends mock me because of him :P, but wouldn't it be cool if there were actually a Jacob?.

And whatever the thing is I got to the point that I believe the story myself. It's pathetic I know... But I like it :).

I think I will be crushed when I get to school and don't find any Jacob...

"If I could just walk away without you from day to day, I would die just thinking of you."

There's no looking foward to go to sleep if I'm not dreaming.

DUDES;
seriously go to this page

http://www.amazines.com/Quotes/article_detail.cfm/865141?articleid=865141

It tells you how to move on and all those shits. It's really beautiful and it actually works out. So if you can't forget somebody, follow those rules....

Anyways back to work, yesterday my friends came by my house and brought cookies (I KNOOW COOKIES :D) and we watched movies, it was really fun and I missed them so much.

P.S; Isn't it funny when you caught one of the best people on lying on the act?. But you never say anything about it :P. Whatever I think it's funny. (and yes my p.s aren't in the end SO WHAT FUCKER?.)

OH and you know what? I'm not dreaming... NO tach that I can't , like literally and in the way I don't have a reason to close my eyes at night and expect something good to happen. It's such a weird feeling 'cause I'm a dreamer and I can't change it, it's like I have to wait for somebody to help me.

But I daydream... A LOT. Seriously it's stupid but I feel better when I think about it :).

........

And to finish this post I wanted to let you guys know that today is going to be the last day I will be seeing Nicholas... This is the point where I'm going to have to forget him. And surprisingly I'm quite okay with it. I mean I think I was prepared

So next week I'm going to erase him from everywhere and delete his pictures. It's fair deal :).

So goodbye to my summer crush. See you next summer?.


"I was waiting to be struck by lightning, waiting for somebody exciting...;Like you."

I took a walk

I'll make this quick:).
I updated my deviant so here is the newest poems I've write.

http://iheartlg.deviantart.com/art/I-don-t-want-to-beg-but-129659429

http://iheartlg.deviantart.com/art/Dream-about-129658422

Please tell me what you think, there or here :).

p.s; a party song by all time low ROCKS.

"I'll make you come just to watch you leave;You walk around with my heart on your sleeve."

Rip your heart out of your rib cage & give it to someone else.

A lot of girls are always afraid of telling the person they like what they feel.

And that's perfectly normal... But you should be brave, I mean if you think there's at least a 50% of probability my advice would be to jump head first in the act :).

Sure it's more romantic when he is the one who makes the first move. But you never know what's going on in those heads. So if you know how this feels. Do it :).

And a little update of my day. I spend it thinking about how I want my future boyfriend to be. And if you analyze the case. You always end up liking the guy who isn't your type... AT ALL.

You find the one who loves you and that will make it enough.

Sure sometimes you do end up with your "prince charming". But it would be overrated talking about something that you can go watch in a movie.

AHHH and before I forget... Yesterday in the middle of the night. There was a black out in my house, so my dad started the car and I stayed there with the air conditioner and listening to music. Suddenly I feel this 'thud's on the door but I don't see anything on the window, so when I open the door Maru (my dog) wanted me to put her inside. So I lay her on the passenger seat and we started dancing:).
(That was yesterday in the car)

Till "Acompaniame a estar solo" by Ricardo Arjona (YOUTUBE IT NOOW) was on and she fall asleep.

And just if you wanted to know from the sunday I went out with my friends I stole 2 bottles of cokes and hide 'em in my closet. But today I'm putting it in the fridge so anybody can have a little :).

And before I went to sleep yesterday I was thinking about the blog and I will be putting quotes at the end that represent something that is in my mind.

Well that's it for now. PEACE.

"I think he can see through everything;But my heart."

What did we learn today?.

I went with my sister today to her collage:)
it was cool 'cause I get to go to her classes or just stay out and hang with her friends :) (shout out to Pachy). And I made things out with "Nicholas", and he is back on being just a summer crush... Don't know why I think this time I won't fall.


Later on I went to the doctor 'cause I was having a surgery... YES! with a bistury and anesthesia and all that shit. I spend 3 whole hours there, my mom did nothing while I was watching UP! on my computer (Dinpu) and seriously I can't believe I'm doing this with a Disney movie on my blog but... DUDE GO FUCKING WATCH IT :o, and if you watched it already... GO AGAIN :o.

The movie rocks I always told my sister how good it looked but not even my friends wanted to go with me. So I bought it and it's really funny and beautiful.

Well again with the doctor thing. The motherfucker told me that the surgery was on wednesday so I could easily go home today and I would have throw a fist but I had to pee so I safe my strength for later.

My mom even bought me chocolate chip cookies and cokes... By the way the coke tasted weird so if something happen to me and I never update the blog again call my mom o.O.

And talking about coke that remind me that when I was in the doctor they only sold Pepsi ( I know the enemy-.-) but I was nervous, so that shit was giving me gasses so my stomach was doing funny noises and the lady next to me was looking at me weirdly xd. I don't know it wasn't funny while it was happening but then when I look back it is funny :p.

But after all the trouble UP! made me learn a lesson... Eventually you will have to let go, even to your most precious memories.

What does that has to do with my day? Honestly... I don't give a fuck.

This person showed me what LOVE is.

I HAD to do this:) and the facts points that this moment is the right one;

So I have this friend whose name is Nelly, and this friend is one of the persons who I actually know that she will NEVER let me down.

I love her more than she will ever know and she gives me more credit than I deserve. I hate to see her sad. 'Cause it just makes me sad too and it's hard to try to make somebody feel better when you are down too.

She is like the little sister I will never have. And she gives me this need of protect her of everything. She is the cutest thing I have ever met in my whole life.

She likes the same music I like, and she always understands me:). She always listen to me. Every little detail and that's something my other friends can't do.

I swear I would adopt her if I could xd. That would be so awesome;P I could get lost in an island with her F O R E V E R and I know we would have so much fun xd.

She always wants the best for everybody<3. I love that she introduce me to Shane Dawson(my lover) and that I introduce her to All Time Low (Zack call me). My little Jonas sister girl T.T you deserve the world and I would give it to you if I had it. and baby every tear in your eyes will make justice some day. I love you Ginelly Thank you will never be enough for you:).