I don't know how to get out of this.

Don't you hate when your parents make you feel like you aren't enough.

And the problem is that if you tell them how you feel they will deny that that was their intention. And that you should feel bad, but can't they realize that you are burning in hell because of the guilt of the initial problem and them blaming you.

Lately my dad and mom had make me feel like shit, like they were saving all the bad things that I've been doing till now. Even things that I did years ago.

Sure I can handle a couple of "Don't do it again". But you know you aren't sleeping at night when they say "I refused to believe my girl could have done something like that"... Or your father call you fucking stupid with indirects.

AND they choose bad times 'cause it's not like I'm pooping flowers. I'm having a bad time with some friends.

But whatever I'll try to get my mind of the subject with music or something.

Yesterday I tried to get out of the world and put an update on twitter saying something like sorry but today I'm taking it for myself for the first time. And of course I thought everybody will get it, but I received like 3 replys saying "I NEED YOU", just making me feel worse for not being there with my friends. I'm sorry, I'm truly am.

OH OH.. AND one tiny update about Nicholas; the moving on thingy is working:), I deleted all his messages already and took him out of my Favorites list :).

Anyways, I'm still stuck in the night without dreams, now seriously I don't know how to get out of it. But my daydreams are awesome, though I have this feeling that the inspiration will end pretty soon.

"They'll fall asleep without you...;You're lucky if your memory remains."