It will never be overrated to try to be a kid again

One of my best friends are twins right?, so their mother has a day-care, and today I went over to help them take care of the kids. I had fun because the kids didn't know english and when my friends got mad they insulted them in english xd it was funny :P.

I couldn't pick my favorite one 'cause I kept changing them.

Don't worry though, I found a way to describe every kid and my experience with them. The thing is that they happen to form a little high school. Don't understand?. Here it goes.

The Jock;(Ivan) He is this cute little boy who the other kids call to play with them, he is boyfriend of one of the girls (Camila), when we gave an order and the other kids didn't pay attention he told everyone to listen. I discovered that the kid poops A LOT. Like seriously he pooped his pants every 5 minutes. And he didn't say anything just "I like lions. You are a lion and I'm the tiger" and "I'm the princess" xd. Poor kid:p I hope he remembers that when he grows old.

Plastic Girl; (Camila) As I said she is girlfriend of Ivan. She's this clingy bipolar girl who doesn't gives a fuck about Ivan, but when a girl is close to him she starts caring. And well that's pretty much it:).

Plastic Girl's Best Friend; (Chantal) She is BFF of Camila and is a freaking copy cater, like you say "Camila say Hi" the girl will say hi too. Once I carried her and she didn't wanted to get of my lap, and if I walked to the house she would be right on my tale walking beside me.

The Bullie; (Manuel) I think he is deaf, 'cause he didn't heard when you talked to him and it started to get annoying with the time. He laughed at everything and every time the twins grounded somebody they called it "Thinking" so let's just say Manuel has to be a fucking Buddha with all the time he had to think. OH and I think he has a crush on Camila.

The Bullie's Best Friend; (Nicolas) He is just this weird kid who is trying to get your attention, I mean he was nice and all, and we only had to put him in "Thinking"once. But the kid couldn't fight his own battle alone. He was always calling us and telling us how somebody punched him or something.

The class president; (Dammit I can't remember her name) The thing is she was this girl who was always trying to talk with Camila and always talked with everybody and all.

The hot outcast; (Diego) I think he was the youngest. But all he did was sit on the rocks looking around. And if you look closely everybody was around him. Like he was the coolest of all.

And well the other kids were babys:).

What I learned?; I miss being a little kid. No broken heart, you don't have to be good enough for anybody, if you have a fight with your friends you don't even have to say sorry, you just need some rocks and imagination to have fun, every time you feel like doing something you do it without thinking in the consequences and at the end of the day. You will always have your parents to come pick you up and give you a big hug.

Shorter? I want to go back to my good old days and be happy again.

BUT.

You didn't think my day went perfectly fine right?.

Right!.

My dad came to pick me up and said he had to take some things to his work. When we were there he left me in the car and took the keys, I watch him carry the things and then he started talking to two women, while I was in the car sweating.

So I decided to beep the horn and it didn't even pass 5 seconds before they looked at me and then went back to their conversation. I beeped it again and they didn't even bother.

Oh and God knows I wasn't done. I opened the door and then slammed it really hard. But just one of the women turned around and looked at me like "wtf is wrong with this kid?". So I took Phillip leaved the car open and went for a walk. Till 10 minutes later my dad was calling me on the phone saying he was going to pick me up.

I don't know why you still think I hate you because of my mom. Guess what? She isn't the only one doing something wrong here.

Wanted my honest answer? I think that the only good thing you have done with your life is putting out your sperm into my mom.

p.s; Some pictures I took only for you to see how it was like :);


(That's Ivan, he got to be my last favorite)


(This baby has the cutest laugh ever)


(all the kids and their idea of fun... with rocks. And my friend trying to put some order).

"If I could just find the time, then I would never let another day go by; I'm over, getting old."

Fill in the blank: I am __________ ?

Usually in every show there's always a character who is always asking himself.

Who am I?.

And you know what. Now that I have the time to mediate that... I don't know who I am. I mean if someone ask you who you are what would you say?.

My name? nope, it's not enough.
My profession? uh-uh, that's what I do, not who I am.
My dreams? that's what I want to become isn't it?.
My friends?
My possessions?
My economic position?
My hobby?
My obsessions?
My family?

None of those seemed to fit in what I am. And you know what? I think that I don't wanna know who I am, as odd as that may sound. But I have a life time still to look for it right?. I won't rush things over.

Isn't that the point in life?. Living it?.

I know this subject is kinda lame but it has been creeping in my mind today. And I don't want to ruin it or think it too much.

Enough with life.

Today was raining and I love the smell of it, like when is about to begin. Or the sound of the raindrops crashing down, it's like a melody that you can't hear if you don't pay attention.

Then I put on Phillip and Only Hope by Switchfoot came on. And they just made it better.

Wanna know something sad?.

After my last poem I haven't been able to write again. I can't finish them, and they are bad. Just simply bad.

But to brush that of, I wanted to tell you that I didn't know people were actually reading my blog :), it's flattering, and well it's awesome. I'm glad somebody cares about the things I write late at night when I can't sleep. ( I did not wrote this late at night actually it's 3;00pm but I wanted to throw you some Tay-Swift quotes).

p.s; This is one of the poems I couldn't finish. I call them Death Notes.
"I read your messages
all over again,
the words on ink
remind the feeling of your breath on my ear.

I will look outside my window
and I'm not so sure what makes my vision a blur,
but my tears are getting lost on the rain.
I don't want to miss you no more.

I've got enough time to think about us,
and if I had to go back in time.
I wouldn't change meeting you.
The late at night calls,
nor your fingertips on my face.

It's not just a kiss
its how you made me feel ..."

p.p.s; I bought 4 different packs of COOKIES, and pack #4 is the winner (though the one with raisins and chocolate chips was delicious).

p.p.p.s; All this time I've been writing p.s bad. I feel so dumb right now. Tough I'm not changing it from the other posts.

p.p.p.p.s; I want my first kiss to be in the rain.

"Dressed up as myself; To live in the shadow, of who I'm supposed to be."

Don't stay quite

Drum roll please.

NEW POEMM
:D
YAY
finnallyyyy hahahhahahaahaha im so happy :P i feel like i can go to sleep with a smile on my face again.
I tried new things with this one, is a description of what i feel like when im frustrated.
dont know tell me what you think about it.

http://iheartlg.deviantart.com/art/Trying-to-find-myself-131154418

oh and sorry for not caring about my spelling but im kinda on a hurry so work with me:)
LOVE YOU.

"Telling lies just to feel happy;But I won't retaliate."

You say selfish; I say staying myself.

I think that summer '09 has teach me some things.

Okay maybe just one.

But I've had a lot time to reevaluate my friendship with some of my pals. And well I feel used and everything they do annoys me to death. And as I like to say "Move on before they notice". I'm going to start listening to my own advices.

Anyways I think I'm still not ready to make a final decision about this, I'll see how all goes with them. But I've got the feeling that they agree with me. Just that they don't know that yet.

What I mean is that I'm not sure what I'm feeling. I don't want to lose their friendship, but I have this weird idea that they don't want anything to do with me either. So I'm going to think about it. And see if it changes.

AND. This sunday was the father's day in my country and let me tell you how it go.

In the morning we gave my dad his presents blah blah, then in the afternoon he leaved. I don't know where and don't care, but I didn't saw him again till that night. My mom was going to take him out with us to dinner. But we decided to get some McDonals.

But the good news?. This weekend there was a Sponge Bob special, and while watching it with my mom and sister. My mom suddenly ask. "So... Does Sponge Bob lives on the sea?" . Me and my sister literally ROFL.

And today while remembering the facts occurred yesterday she said. "No seriously, where does the sponge lives?".

XD.

p.s; Look at this photo it ROCKS so much I want to take one similar :).
(btw Ashley Rose is my favorite photograph.)



(It's not her best one but this means a lot to me.)

p.s.s; DAMMIT I forgot to put the quote >.< sorry, here it goes

"I can be so mean when I wanna be. I am capable of really anything. I can cut you into pieces;...But my heart is broken"

Bad moments don't last more than the good ones; Memory is playing games with you

I've always believe that divorced kids are more intelligent than the other ones.

But that won't work out for me 'cause I'm already grown up and all. I know my parents separate a long time ago, but when you are a little kid everything is beautiful and full of love, they have to rub it in your own face to get to the facts.

Anyways, it won't be a new subject for anybody that my parents are about to divorce, I have NO problem with this, 'cause my relationship with my father isn't the same as when I was his "little girl". And I don't miss him anymore when he is gone.

I think that when they actually get the divorce I will be spending more time with him than what we do now, 'cause the man is just simply not around much. And that's something just me and my sister are capable of notice.

Have you ever feel like nobody understands you?, like seriously and it gets to the point when you don't want them to. It's the first time I don't want to talk about my current situation. And I hope it won't happen again. I don't want to be the "weak one" anymore.

You don't know how much it means to me to have somebody to talk to, but right now, I want to keep it to myself.

My life has been lately about losing somebody important. But it's like the ones that are involved on it aren't worrying at all, or are just dealing with it in the wrong way. Let me just tell you this. I'm a -reading between the lines- girl. If you don't, you will just make a lot of mistakes.

I'm starting to feel paranoid, and I don't want to trust in anyone. Like suddenly they will all turn their backs on me in the worst moment.

"The writers weren't kidding about how all good things must end; Then again somethings are far too good, to go when you let go."

Why does Freedom only last for about 3 minutes?

Long Time I didn't update huh?
well I wish I could say it was inspiration, but this time I can't use it as an excuse. 'Cause it's just that I'm so tired this days, like I just have this feeling of doing something but I can't... 'Cause I'm tired.

I even had an idea for an awesome poem, but I just didn't feel like writing; What if that was my most famous hit?.

Well whatever... Hey have you ever walk trough the beach with your i-pod or mp3?, if you haven't I recommend Taylor Swift. I did it a long time ago but I will never forget the feeling of freedom and power over myself.

OR

Have you ever put your i-pod on the car?, Well I can't 'cause I don't have one and I don't know how to drive :P, but once my mom left me in her car while she buy some things. I put Phillip, and let me tell you "Fearless"will make your life, you just get this goofy smile on your face after singing like a crazy person :)... In a car.

Letting the freedom subject aside. Yesterday I remembered that my first album was "Black and Blue" by Backstreet Boys, but the thing is that I was like 8 or 7 and I didn't know english, so I just remember BSB on the cover xd, and after downloading all the songs from their album called, "Backstreet Boys", and not remembering anything, This little image of a black and blue cd strike me. And so I remember everything:P.

And let me tell you something, the boy who sings to me in a piano "How I fall in love with you" Has my heart.

P.S; Update from my daydreams: still ON

P.S.S; Guys can you do me a favor please? it takes less than 30 seconds I promise, go to the link bellow this and sign. Is a really important cause and they don't have many signatures. So please, do it for the animals not for me:S, or don't do it for the animals just sign. LESS THAN 30 SECONDS. I'll give cookies to the ones signing this.


http://www.animalsmatter.org/

"Together we'll move on, just don't turn around; Let the walls break down."

Would you rather?.

My mom has being waking me up like at 7am to go to the gym with her-.-.

But that's not the point. The thing is I FINALLY HAD A DREAM... It was a nightmare, but whatever:), it was a dream.

---
Dream;
My aunt was having her birthday party on a cruise, so we all went. And the Jonas Brothers were playing, but they weren't famous, and I didn't speak to them in the whole dream xd, aheem, as I was saying... Suddenly there's something green in the windows and a giant octopus tries to kill us, so I ran out of the cruise to a near island with my family... But my mom stays in the cruise. So I was crying and trembling. But then my mom comes running to the island with us (If you were wondering, the Jonas died... I think 'cause they weren't in the island xd), and then we find like a house with without walls and you could see the sea, and the giant octopus was coming to kill us, it was just a matter of seconds and we started hugging and crying, and I didn't wanted my mom to be killed, like seriously I was just worried about her, so I woke up.
---

So after I woke up I went to the living room with my mom and told her about my dream. But she interrupted me and start saying things like I had to stop eating and all those shits, and then my father joined the conversation, and at the end it all finished with them insulting me.

And seriously I don't know you guys. But at that point I began to question myself where I rather be..

In the nightmare or in real life?.


"Why you wear sunglasses in the home, when the sun went down about an hour ago?;... Life should not be that way."

I don't know how to get out of this.

Don't you hate when your parents make you feel like you aren't enough.

And the problem is that if you tell them how you feel they will deny that that was their intention. And that you should feel bad, but can't they realize that you are burning in hell because of the guilt of the initial problem and them blaming you.

Lately my dad and mom had make me feel like shit, like they were saving all the bad things that I've been doing till now. Even things that I did years ago.

Sure I can handle a couple of "Don't do it again". But you know you aren't sleeping at night when they say "I refused to believe my girl could have done something like that"... Or your father call you fucking stupid with indirects.

AND they choose bad times 'cause it's not like I'm pooping flowers. I'm having a bad time with some friends.

But whatever I'll try to get my mind of the subject with music or something.

Yesterday I tried to get out of the world and put an update on twitter saying something like sorry but today I'm taking it for myself for the first time. And of course I thought everybody will get it, but I received like 3 replys saying "I NEED YOU", just making me feel worse for not being there with my friends. I'm sorry, I'm truly am.

OH OH.. AND one tiny update about Nicholas; the moving on thingy is working:), I deleted all his messages already and took him out of my Favorites list :).

Anyways, I'm still stuck in the night without dreams, now seriously I don't know how to get out of it. But my daydreams are awesome, though I have this feeling that the inspiration will end pretty soon.

"They'll fall asleep without you...;You're lucky if your memory remains."

My imaginary boyfriend who is VERY REAL.

So this is a funny history :).

Two of my best friends are a couple now, so one day as a joke I said my future boyfriend Jacob , would be so much better.

The thing is I liked the joke.

I made up a whole character and I can't stop thinking about him.

The story of me and Jacob is that he will be in my school next year, and I will meet him there. But he lives like 2 houses away from mine, and he has a twin sister so I can use as an excuse to visit him so my mom will let me go.

We will be those kind of couples that are sick lovely and all that shit.

My friends mock me because of him :P, but wouldn't it be cool if there were actually a Jacob?.

And whatever the thing is I got to the point that I believe the story myself. It's pathetic I know... But I like it :).

I think I will be crushed when I get to school and don't find any Jacob...

"If I could just walk away without you from day to day, I would die just thinking of you."

There's no looking foward to go to sleep if I'm not dreaming.

DUDES;
seriously go to this page

http://www.amazines.com/Quotes/article_detail.cfm/865141?articleid=865141

It tells you how to move on and all those shits. It's really beautiful and it actually works out. So if you can't forget somebody, follow those rules....

Anyways back to work, yesterday my friends came by my house and brought cookies (I KNOOW COOKIES :D) and we watched movies, it was really fun and I missed them so much.

P.S; Isn't it funny when you caught one of the best people on lying on the act?. But you never say anything about it :P. Whatever I think it's funny. (and yes my p.s aren't in the end SO WHAT FUCKER?.)

OH and you know what? I'm not dreaming... NO tach that I can't , like literally and in the way I don't have a reason to close my eyes at night and expect something good to happen. It's such a weird feeling 'cause I'm a dreamer and I can't change it, it's like I have to wait for somebody to help me.

But I daydream... A LOT. Seriously it's stupid but I feel better when I think about it :).

........

And to finish this post I wanted to let you guys know that today is going to be the last day I will be seeing Nicholas... This is the point where I'm going to have to forget him. And surprisingly I'm quite okay with it. I mean I think I was prepared

So next week I'm going to erase him from everywhere and delete his pictures. It's fair deal :).

So goodbye to my summer crush. See you next summer?.


"I was waiting to be struck by lightning, waiting for somebody exciting...;Like you."

I took a walk

I'll make this quick:).
I updated my deviant so here is the newest poems I've write.

http://iheartlg.deviantart.com/art/I-don-t-want-to-beg-but-129659429

http://iheartlg.deviantart.com/art/Dream-about-129658422

Please tell me what you think, there or here :).

p.s; a party song by all time low ROCKS.

"I'll make you come just to watch you leave;You walk around with my heart on your sleeve."

Rip your heart out of your rib cage & give it to someone else.

A lot of girls are always afraid of telling the person they like what they feel.

And that's perfectly normal... But you should be brave, I mean if you think there's at least a 50% of probability my advice would be to jump head first in the act :).

Sure it's more romantic when he is the one who makes the first move. But you never know what's going on in those heads. So if you know how this feels. Do it :).

And a little update of my day. I spend it thinking about how I want my future boyfriend to be. And if you analyze the case. You always end up liking the guy who isn't your type... AT ALL.

You find the one who loves you and that will make it enough.

Sure sometimes you do end up with your "prince charming". But it would be overrated talking about something that you can go watch in a movie.

AHHH and before I forget... Yesterday in the middle of the night. There was a black out in my house, so my dad started the car and I stayed there with the air conditioner and listening to music. Suddenly I feel this 'thud's on the door but I don't see anything on the window, so when I open the door Maru (my dog) wanted me to put her inside. So I lay her on the passenger seat and we started dancing:).
(That was yesterday in the car)

Till "Acompaniame a estar solo" by Ricardo Arjona (YOUTUBE IT NOOW) was on and she fall asleep.

And just if you wanted to know from the sunday I went out with my friends I stole 2 bottles of cokes and hide 'em in my closet. But today I'm putting it in the fridge so anybody can have a little :).

And before I went to sleep yesterday I was thinking about the blog and I will be putting quotes at the end that represent something that is in my mind.

Well that's it for now. PEACE.

"I think he can see through everything;But my heart."

What did we learn today?.

I went with my sister today to her collage:)
it was cool 'cause I get to go to her classes or just stay out and hang with her friends :) (shout out to Pachy). And I made things out with "Nicholas", and he is back on being just a summer crush... Don't know why I think this time I won't fall.


Later on I went to the doctor 'cause I was having a surgery... YES! with a bistury and anesthesia and all that shit. I spend 3 whole hours there, my mom did nothing while I was watching UP! on my computer (Dinpu) and seriously I can't believe I'm doing this with a Disney movie on my blog but... DUDE GO FUCKING WATCH IT :o, and if you watched it already... GO AGAIN :o.

The movie rocks I always told my sister how good it looked but not even my friends wanted to go with me. So I bought it and it's really funny and beautiful.

Well again with the doctor thing. The motherfucker told me that the surgery was on wednesday so I could easily go home today and I would have throw a fist but I had to pee so I safe my strength for later.

My mom even bought me chocolate chip cookies and cokes... By the way the coke tasted weird so if something happen to me and I never update the blog again call my mom o.O.

And talking about coke that remind me that when I was in the doctor they only sold Pepsi ( I know the enemy-.-) but I was nervous, so that shit was giving me gasses so my stomach was doing funny noises and the lady next to me was looking at me weirdly xd. I don't know it wasn't funny while it was happening but then when I look back it is funny :p.

But after all the trouble UP! made me learn a lesson... Eventually you will have to let go, even to your most precious memories.

What does that has to do with my day? Honestly... I don't give a fuck.

This person showed me what LOVE is.

I HAD to do this:) and the facts points that this moment is the right one;

So I have this friend whose name is Nelly, and this friend is one of the persons who I actually know that she will NEVER let me down.

I love her more than she will ever know and she gives me more credit than I deserve. I hate to see her sad. 'Cause it just makes me sad too and it's hard to try to make somebody feel better when you are down too.

She is like the little sister I will never have. And she gives me this need of protect her of everything. She is the cutest thing I have ever met in my whole life.

She likes the same music I like, and she always understands me:). She always listen to me. Every little detail and that's something my other friends can't do.

I swear I would adopt her if I could xd. That would be so awesome;P I could get lost in an island with her F O R E V E R and I know we would have so much fun xd.

She always wants the best for everybody<3. I love that she introduce me to Shane Dawson(my lover) and that I introduce her to All Time Low (Zack call me). My little Jonas sister girl T.T you deserve the world and I would give it to you if I had it. and baby every tear in your eyes will make justice some day. I love you Ginelly Thank you will never be enough for you:).

Obsessions... Nothing new about it.

Just in case my future husband comes around this blog he can read this and know all about my likes:P, naah just kidding, just wanted to tell you about my obsessions...

1. My i-pod (Phillip)
Don't get lost if I talk about a random Phillip, he is my i-pod. I love him very much he is the only mp3 that has lasted for me, every little piece of those shits always end up broken in my hands, but I'm proud to say that I have strong 2 years with Phillip and we still are holding on :). He is so special 'cause he is always there to put those sweet words in my ears. He is currently in a relationship with another i-pod named Larry:). Yes Phillip is gay!.


2.Coca-Cola
Phillip is lucky to be on top of these one. I'm seriously in love with coke. It always get me out of stress, and I know I know that it's bad for your health. But once I tried to stop and I spend the whole day with a stomach ache. And I've had those days when I didn't drink any. But in the next day my mouth will taste different and weird. I know it's sick. I think I like it that much is because when I was little my mom didn't let me drink any but in my grandpa's house I could. So I think it reminds me of my old good days.


3.Cold
I love being cold, like seriously I can't sweat, I hate being hot. 'Cause I get nervous when I'm sweating, causing this to make me even MORE sweaty. So I prefer stand in the cold. It feels free xd I knooow I'm weird stop thinking about it:P. Nahh just kidding you can think about it. But I do prefer cold more than anything.


4.Twitter
I never admit this out loud but I can't go on a whole day without updating something. It's really hard, and I like to write this little things there xd it's fun you should try it:P. But I hate people posting in their others websites to follow them. I know I put mine here but it was just a way to find me, people put their user names just to get more and more followers.


5. Chocolate Chip Cookies;
It's not new that I'm always offering cookies... But what's better than that?. I mean seriously there's nothing like the chocolate melting in your tongue, and the soft dough in your teeths which it doesn't taste too sweet nor too salty.


6. Jonas Brothers
Not lot of people can understand this:P and they will instantly thing that I'm inmature 'cause I like their music. But that just makes me want to love them more. They have this shitty life now with all the rumors and Disney fucking up their minds. But when one of those guys hit a drum, touch a piano, play the guitar, or put his voice on a microphone. I know they are real and they can't fake that. I won't marry one of them that's for sure:). But I want to tell my childrens how that band having a reunion of 20 years in the country was my favorite band when I was growing up. I don't think is a phase. Lots of people thought I was just changing. But the years have prove them wrong :).




---

There ya have it:) my 6 obsessions. And I'm proud of them. Which ones you have?.

Cool people wear sunglasses and eat chicken wings on pools.

Haven't update in a while, sorry for that:), inspiration has been doing sick tricks to me.

But anyways today I went with my friends to a beach house of one of them. And I brought a guest who is a friend of mine. At the end of the day she told me that my friends are really genuine and that is really rare to find out that in a big group of people nobody is faking anything, and there's no lies in between eachother. And she is having a hard time with her friends so she knows what it feels like.

And I happen to agree with everything she said those guys were sended to me for a reason. And I wouldn't regret anything with them.

The only time I have ever cried for happiness was with them.

They are the only guys who can make up a party with 2 bags of Tostidos, cheese, and an i-pod.

I share with them the best memories of my life and I hope I will never forget them or have the need to.

-----

So going back to the activities done today, we went to the pool all with sunglasses, like literally everyone had one of those of a different color. And my mom (yes she was invited xd) served us chicken wings while we were in the pool:p, so it was kinda cool.

Then we played volleyball, and the team I was against to SUCKED, too much. But we weren't counting points. And at the end of the game they were like "dude we totally won"and it was funny 'cause they were serious about it xd.

We played chess and twister at the same time xd. Try to imagine that :P,but we end up in the pool again just hearing music with our glasses on :P.

I really love these guys they are my life <3.

One quick goodbye.

Hey guys!.

So I was thinking about it and now that we are in the " being sad" theme, I know there's a moment when you always get stressed for something, and maybe you find yourself not having your friends. So I wanted to give you a list of things to do if this things happens;


1- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JdIqc5WCqSs&feature=channel_page

This is a video of Shane Dawson, if you know him cool, if you don't he is this guy who makes funny videos, but this one is talking about moving on and all. It's really good.

2- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0WiJBr16gbY

or just watch this:) this is Dane Cook and there is NO WAY in hell that you won't laugh.

3- Download this songs;
Hold on-JB
Take a Breath- JB
Love is on it's way-JB
I want to hold your hand- The beatles
Weightless- All time low
I miss you- Blink 182
Show me what I'm looking for- Carolina Liar
Realize- Colbie Caillat
Dreams Collide- Colbie Caillat
Fix you- Cold Play
True Colors- Cyndi Lauper
Running- David Archuleta
Don't let go- David Archuleta
Breathe- Faith Hill
Tonight- FM station
Iris- Goo Goo Dolls


and well it goes on but I'm tired. STAY TUNE FOR PART NUMBER 2.

4. Write everything you are feeling on a piece of paper, just like is in your mind, and it will clear things out

5.Find some place where you can post those feelings, 'cause you feel like somebody do care. AND BELIEVE ME somebody does.

6. Cry. Cry like a motherfucker. 'Cause you know you want to.

(OPTIONAL)
7.Pray.

---------------------------

IF this doesn't work, go to therapy with somebody professional.
it's worth it :).
Or maybe don't, maybe you have your own way of feeling better, and I want to know about it, so comment me your way of feeling better :)

I LOVE YOU<3.>

"Sorry" is not enough

IN this very right moment
I'm listening a friend asking me for forgiveness
and for a sick cruel reason, I don't believe him.

I know he isn't lying but it's like it isn't enough, I still have this big lump on my throat.
And it's probably over, I know it will be awkward after this.

So this is the real story about how I care so much about this guy;
Let's call him Nicholas?

Nicholas is this beautiful boy (inside and out) who has this beautiful creamy chocolate eyes, and a great personality. He treated me like I was different and I knew that was just the way he treated every girl.

But I had just finished with a bad feeling that was killing me inside, and well I thought Summer '09 could be different.

So I was going to try like a summer fling, like this short crush that would probably end in the summer ending, 'cause I wouldn't gonna be able to see him again.

Shit happens.

I've never feel like this before, and I don't want to twilight you with all the mushy shit. But I found myself writing happy things about him. And they were actually good.

I missed him when I wasn't around, and he made me feel like he missed me too.

but again...
SHIT HAPPENS

I had this big fight with him. For something stupid, and I took it too seriously 'cause things went out of my reach. I know he won't say it, but now he probably thinks I'm a fucking immature psycho bitch. Who is in love with him for nothing.

I'm not.

But it was a nice, something different, for the first time not feeling alone in a crowd of people.

And I did learn a lot of things, and he made me happy. But I knew it was going to end. So it did.
Today 10/7/09. Probably the only summer fling I will ever have. Probably the only person who will make me feel like that. Probably the love of my life. Probably just some other lesson I had to learn.

It does sucks losing someone. But I won't make a whole deal. Yes I did cried, and yes I'm sad. But this was coming. And those were the rules.

I think I'm just hoping he will read this, I want him to know that I'm sorry for the feelings I should regret. I tend to make a whole deal out of nothing.

Though I want to thank the hands who helped me trough all of this;
Nelly Melo
Armando Guzman
Gilda Sanchez

Thanks for reading and thanks for caring<3.

A walk to remember

You see... My internet has been doing bitchy things to me and it's not working , like yesterday when I just had half hour to do what I do in a whole day, and today is bound to do the same.

I can handle that. But. When the cable signal is gone too. There's not much to do at 1;00am.

Lucky me, the other day I steal one of my best friends movie ( a walk to remember) while she wasn't home. and my desperation of not killing myself with my pillow I've been watching the movie.

3 nights. In a row

I can quote every little part of the movie.
My favorite is when everybody is making fun of Jamie and when she turns around Landon hugs her. Don't know it just gives me chills.

I downloaded the book already so when internet wants to betray me I'll find something to fight him back.


P.S; I DO NOT LIKE THE MOVIE.
P.S.S; WAIIT.... I wanted to send shout out to my best friend who is my first follower and first comment :). ( I know it might be pathetic but still means a lot to me).

I'm telling you, so you'll get use to it.

This is just a warning... The first time I will talk about my depressions here.

I know my life is good enough to think twice before cutting my wrist, and it hurts like a bitch (not that I know personally) to even try.
But my self esteem happens to be really low because of past events, so every little bump in the road is enough to make me break down and cry.

Usually I listen to this bands ; Jb, All Time Low & Taylor Swift
and this songs; Hold on, I miss you (Blink 182), Lullabies, etc
there's a whole playlist I would write them all down if you want it to but I don't have my i-pod in hand right now.

I don't show when I'm sad around people, but I don't turn around when the problem is in my face. I always face them 'cause you never know.

Today someone who I thought it was really important in my life let me down, nobody has ever make me feel like shit, not like this, not even the worst douche bag in the world. But he did, and the worst is that I can't make a whole deal about it 'cause I'm not that important in his life. But it hurts, I even gave away 2 whole Coca-Colas for that( OBSESSION WITH COKE SORRY) I don't even want to hear music, and I can't stay in one place, I've never done this, and I need to talk to this person to clear things up, and leave whatever we had on a line, I knew it was going to end anyways, but not as bad or as soon as this happened.

When I'm like this I spam my twitter with depressed updates, or get a notebook and write down my feelings. At least there's something good about feeling like this. 'Cause I write hella good when I'm stressed, happiness is just not my thing you know?.

My own band :)

The other day I couldn't sleep like at 3am. So I started making quizzes, and find out this one

-------------------------------------
Make your band’s album cover:

1 - Go to Wikipedia. Hit “random”
or click http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Random
The first random Wikipedia article you get is the name of your band.

2 - Go to Quotations Page and select “random quotations”
or click http://www.quotationspage.com/random.php3
The last four or five words of the very last quote on the page is the title of your first album.

Go to Flickr and click on “explore the last seven days”
or click http://www.flickr.com/explore/interesting/7days
Third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.

-------------------------------------

So I made my own :);
band name; Blatina
Album name; Rather Naive, and Probably Wrong
(FRONT COVER!)

(BACK COVER:list of songs)







What you think about Blatina? make yours and send it to me in a comment :).

Not a Disney girl but let's talk about it.

WARMING; sorry if you are a fan of the persons involved in this update, I would get pretty mad too if some mother fucker insult my idols in her suck ass blog:).

Let's start with the sistahs.

Selena Gomez? I guess you can say she is cool and all, but there's something I don't like about her:S, Like there's something she is hiding? She seems fake. And it's not a casually Nick's girl case of jealousy, I didn't like her since Barnie :). NO JOKE.

Demi Lovato; I used to like her like seriously really much, I even was going to buy her album, but the day before that she went to the Jonas Brothers 3D Concert Experience(mother fucker long name) with extensions, fake tan and fake nails. Now I qoute her; "Who said I can't wear my converse with my dress? well baby, thats just me". I've never seen her using converse and dresses in my whole life, and please somebody prove me wrong on that. But the things she did in the premier are just disgusting to me. I hate that so that just made me erease all her songs out of my i-pod.


Miley Cyrus; Now now, I give it to you, she gets a lot of shit for nothing, I mean I think most of the girls agaisnt her are jealous, cause she can take pictures like a fucking whore, and still look hot, her voice is really pretty, and she knows how to act. But where's the odds of being a bipolar who dated an underwear model of 24 years after Nick Jonas when you are just 16?.


P.S; what's with the holes on Ashley Tisdale's shirts?.

Okay so that was it:) sorry again if you don't think like I do, but we all have our opinions. What can I say... I'm just not a Disney girl :S.

Mario Lopez+Brownies=DEPRESSION.

I've been watching Mario Lopez ETHS and it's kinda funny 'cause people talk about him like he is the shit :P, but the first time I heard of him was in Dr. 90210 when a guy from Queer Eye for the Straight Guy showed up with his thin sucker lips :).

Whatever so, do you know those kind of days when you just want to stay home hearing hardcore music ('cause if sad songs cross your ears you will breakdown into cries) and don't want to deal with people talking about their shits?... Well today is that kinda day for me.

RANDOM FACT; I changed the channel and Good girls go bad was on, Leighton Meester is so hot, but then The Climb came on:p, and I don't know it was kinda funny. (NOT A MILEY CYRUS FAN the video always gives me goosebumps ;sorry?)

and later I'm making brownies with my grandma's recipe 'cause I'm hungry and I don't think that a couple of eggs or bowl of flour will make it.

Liinks :)

This will be real quick, I wanted to give you other links so you will find me in other websites easily

facebook; http://www.facebook.com/guitarnvoice

twitter; http://twitter.com/guitarnvoice

deviantart; http://iheartlg.deviantart.com/

e-mail; lalisrules_06@hotmail.com

That's probably it :)
PEACE.

Why the fuck?

:D
okay I know there's not a real reason to make myself a blog, and there isn't a real reason to actually read it :). But I find myself enjoying writing my life. And I doubt writing a book will make it.

So here I am sharing myself with strangers:)

So I guess I have to give you reasons to stick around huh?
well I like to write poetry, and I've been told that they are good.

so I will be posting them here, I would have make them songs and tape them in youtube or something, and don't get me wrong... I do sing, now I don't think it's enjoyable.

:D

oh and some of my personal details you will like to know;
Name; Laura Zahira Garcia
Age; *two numbers*
Place; Somewhere in the world
Music Genre; Alternative Rock
Favorite band; Jonas Brothers & All Time Low (I know weird combination)
Language; Spanish:) (don't worry I've watch enough of F.R.I.E.N.D.S, to be able to make a conversation with somebody who doesn't give a fuck about Latino America)
Favorite artist Solo; Taylor Swift (damn her for writing my life in songs, fucking stalker)

and well the rest will come around :)
ENJOY<3.