I don't know what to hope for.

I don't even know how to start this entry.

But I guess I just did.

I don't know if I'm talking to somebody or if I'm talking to myself. It shouldn't matter thought.

It's not that I don't like tumblr.

But blogspot is my home. And now that I needed some escape. I'm sure I could come back again.

I've been trying to let out what I'm feeling, and every thought in my head. But it's really hard when I know everybody is gonna judge me.

I feel safe here, so it's a done deal. I'm back again to writing post how I used to.

And it's all thanks to Mar.

She reminded me everything I left here, and I don't know if I just got nostalgic. But it feels good to come here.

So be prepared 'cause tomorrow I'll probably shitload you with everything that is haunting my mind since I left you.

When you think that change is just for the worst, is because you have only change for the worst.

http://lgwalksaway.tumblr.com/

ENJOY :D.

My last post for 'She walks away'; I'm going to miss it:(.

Nope, this isn't a joke.

This is the last post I'm going to make here in 'L.G walks away".

Probably.

:P. The thing is that I've been checking out Tumblr.com, and I think it would be more fun for me and for you to write/read.

And I say probably because I have a friend that has a blog there and I don't want her to think that I'm copying her :s, so from here I'm officially asking you (you know who you are), if I can join tumblr too?.

It's really your decision I wouldn't care that much, and I will totally understand your point:).

Sorry for scaring you guys xd, no I'm not ending 'she walks away', not for now. And there's a lot of details that I want to converse with you, to organize the event well:).

I'm sure as hell going to miss blogger :(, thanks for being my beginning budd.

And well Pumpkin it is all up to you:).

p.s; I need to speak up about something, but later.

p.p.s; GOING TO EAT SUNDAES :o, the sis is paying<3.

"We’ll stop the clock together and know that the timing was right."

I'm going to return that teddy bear you gave me. 'Cause it is not okay.

I hope this is the first and last time I say this. It's kind of uncomfortable to admit.

One of the reasons why I didn't want to create a blog is that I know some things are going to be used as a gossip. Like for example my last post.

I didn't make this(blog) thinking about my friends or the people I know. I wasn't even sure if they were going to read it. Though I'm fine with the idea of them reading (blog).

But I hate to explain what I write, of people who don't understand, of people using my words against myself.

What I post here is likely to stay here. I wrote it because I was thinking of it and I want to forget about it. Not to insult somebody or to confess a really deep secret.

In other words. It's just odd for me. So for further awkward conversations. Don't bring up one of my updates please. I'm not naming the 4 people that yesterday either messaged, or called at my phone for details. Because well we will be in the same page.

I will not use names ever again here. I promise.

ANYWAY. Today my sister was parking her car, and accidentally she crashed over the door. My mom was trying to move the car so it wouldn't get fucked up.She failed. And suddenly she started crying.

The thing is, that my mom is though, she is a strong woman.

She wasn't never the favorite girl, the one everybody picked like her sister.

She isn't perfect.

She has a rocky life. The worst things that can probably break one person happens all in one to her. And she stills holds her head strong like nothing happened. There's always a solution for everything. And she always makes sure that my sister and I always stay away from every one of her problems.

And tonight. Tonight she cried over nothing. I personally don't think it was because of the car. I'm sure something else happened. But she won't tell.

When I saw her cursing at nothing and letting some tears spill from her eyes. Every other stupid idea vanished.

She wanted to hug her mom.

Those moments when you just want your mom to rock you in her lap and whisper that everything is going to be okay.

It made me realize that I've spend the whole weekend next to her and I haven't hug her. Not once.

She always complains, she yells, she doesn't always takes the right decisions, she is not always home.

But she is my mom, and I wouldn't have her any other way.

Thanks mom, for teaching me how to live. Those subjects are never seen in school. Thanks for not getting in the way when I was growing, and even then thanks for your advices. Thanks mom for being my mom.

p.s; You know what?. I miss my grandma too T.T

p.p.s; I didn't mean back there that a couple of 'wow i love your writing' or 'loved your post' aren't well welcoming ;).

p.p.p.s; Hug your mom, and if you don't have one. Pray for her, I'm sure she will hear :).

"When violet eyes get brighter, and heavy wings grow lighter, I'll taste the sky and feel alive again. And I'll forget the world that I knew; But I swear I won't forget you."

How can I believe that you are happy when I see tears in your eyes?.

No more indirects in this one. I'm sorry by advance if I mention names here.

Right now, like 5 minutes ago. I got out of a friendship that well wasn't perfect.

I know that nothing is perfect in life. And for an unknown reason I always try to correct what is not perfect. Even if I'm scared of having a perfect life.

The thing is that I had fun in the friendship, I trust this person. And I guess she trust me too.

But every time this flaws came to eyes. There was a reason to fight.

And it will always be easier to blame it on someone else. This case exact.

Yes. I did the same. But I'm proud of saying that I know where I was wrong.

Sometimes "I'm sorry" is not enough. Or at least in time it isn't. And I guess you are friend's with people because you need them. Right?. 'Cause after you stop needing them they are useless. Right?. And probably I will always have the blame for all the things you did wrong. Right?.

I hope you all noted the sarcasm used:).

If what you wanted was for me to feel sorry for you. Then mission accomplished.

I had two group of friends.

My friends who didn't judge, but created drama in every opportunity they got.

And my friends who judge, but are there no matter what. They never ask for something back.

And I guess you have all figured out which ones I had to pick. 'Cause I had to.

And you can take this like an insult, like an advice, Leslie/Armando/Mayerlin.

It's not that I can't give you my all. It's that I'm scared you will take it all. And leave me with nothing to hold onto.

It's really clear now to see how I'm with somebody who I can help. And maybe my friends judge me. But it's not how they injure me.Not how it hurts to know that the think like that. It's how I know if we weren't together. They wouldn't have the need to smile.

Getting of off my life. The point is...

Don't be friends, don't get in a relationship with some one. IF YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE SMILING. That's not the point at all.

Take 1 to 5 minutes to think about your life. How right now you are screaming 'no' in your head because you think I'm wrong. Think about you. Think if you did it too?.







No?.

I'm happy that you noticed sooner rather than later how you don't need me anymore. How I'm hurting you now. Thank you.

:)

p.s; I'm not sad.'Cause you just gave me a reason not to be.

p.p.s; I'm going to see my grandma this Christmas:). Something good to look forward to it.

p.p.p.s; WATCH THIS:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p2Gh1U14RZA&feature=fvst I can't stop.

p.p.p.p.s; Even if it's not enough... I'm sorry.

"Why you staring?. Do you still think that you know?. Looking for treasure in the things that you threw, Like a magpie; I live for glitter, not you."

Your past will always be waiting for you to come back. Don't.

Since I was really little, there's this thing that has got me paranoid.

It sickens me and it makes me judge people from an instant.

I hate when somebody copies from me. I hate when people copy from anybody else.

Like I understand if you saw once a girl with a scarf and wanted to try it out. That's cool.

But don't make your whole style based on somebody else.

What's worse for me is when people take my words. That's basically the only thing that can represent me. My image, even better than a picture. So it always gets on my nerves when somebody else takes it and doesn't even have the guts to put 'L.G' in the end.

I know I probably sound mean, but like I said... Since I was little.

Anyways, I was thinking about how all the girls when they have a broken heart, they always blame the guy. And that's why they can't move on.

They stay in phase 3 that is anger. Because he didn't love you, because he didn't cared enough, because he didn't fight for you.

And I know it because I have done it. I have insult somebody who didn't deserve the blame. And while you are breaking furiously his pictures or writing angry notes about him.

He is already forgetting your name.

So please don't give him the pleasure of having him in your mind. Just accept that it wasn't supposed to be. Neither you or him was right.

Again, sorry if I sound mean. I don't know why I haven't said this before but the two things had been coming around this days.

Yesterday I enjoyed what is to be alone. I started to miss it when my friends called me. But it's one of the most awesome things in the world. I lay my body on a bench in a park and stared to the sky.

I didn't think of one thing. And I didn't clear anything in my mind. But it felt really refreshing. Though for some reason when it ended I was waiting for somebody, for somebody to come.

p.s; Sorry if sometimes I don't say the things straight to your face. I just don't think it's necessary when you already know it.

p.p.s; Spend the whole day reading,listening,watching All Time Low :).

p.p.p.s; Somebody never came.

"I'll ask you if the rain still makes you smile, like so much time that we spent in the fall. It put color in our cheeks while the air turned cold, preceding what became our bitter end".

My prince charming will have a guitar instead of a sword.

Let's skip the apologies for the darkness that I have leave you Oh dear reader. And start with my sudden happiness/weirdness.

All the coming facts are weird but produce a happy sensation in my mind:).

Saturday night I went with some friends to the Hilton's because JB's band was there. And nope I didn't see them, but it was fun to be back again with some old friends:).

Sunday the big day came and I woke up at 6am to be back again in the Hilton's waiting for the Jonas Brothers in the hot sun with other 50 girls. Not before paying my sister 1000 pesos so she could drive me in the morning.

Those beautiful three persons that were first on my weekend decided to make me wait. And I repeat. In the hot sun, 7;00am to 12;00pm. Just to wave for 5 seconds and then leave to their room.

Disappointing?, maybe, but I know I would have regret not going more.

By now my hair was a mess, but let's keep going. At 3;00pm I was in the sun, oh yes AGAIN. Waiting for the meet and greet passes. To get to the room at 5;00.

Then after asking for the sticker;

I lose track of it, and when I was about to meet my papis they asked for it one more time. I started crying 'cause it was going to be such a disappointment to come that far and yet lose my chance.

But I found it and it was all good, I wiped my tears and start to walk to them, and this is how it went:.

Kevin; Hey!, thanks for coming. *hand shake*
Me; Hii, can I hug you?.
Kevin; Of course *hugs tight*

( Then I see Nick with open arms, so I closed my eyes and started to walk to him. He hugged me like from far away so I had to press a little-.-, it ended up being a good hug though:), and yes we didn't say anything. )

Joe; Houla
Me; uhh Hi Joe?. *hugs*

*Sexy Hoffman takes picture*
Joe; Gruacias
Laura; *mentally* wtf?xd.

I won't lie, when I got out of it I was pissed off with them, like why the hell they hug like that?. But like half an hour later I changed my mind and started to find all this awesome things:).

So maybe my m&g was over in less than 5 seconds, and maybe I didn't say a word to Nick. But it made me feel special:). So thank you Jonas Brothers, for reminding me why I'm still here after 3 hard years.

So anyways in monday I found out I was strangely depressed, it's what we Jb fans call depression-post-concert. It's when you realize that you probably won't see them again and want more.

But I'm fine now.

Anyways I wrote a story of two chapters, in spanish, that I actually like. I'm going to post it here maybe tomorrow and your opinions will mean the world to me.

And before Jonas some subjects about myself started to come out and I wanted to talked it with you.

I don't get mad, I do but only for 5 minutes, I understand that we make mistakes and that we don't want to hurt somebody else. But there are some things that you just can't do, like for example. You can't insult my dog.

You can't come to my house and say that my dog is ugly, I can't stand people that do that, it's my fucking dog asshole, it's like you are insulting myself. Or the jonas brothers.

They can be a stupid band of Disney, whatever. They are the start of my life. My right hand, my music, my muse. It's annoying when people say how the suck as much as their fans.

Yes probably they are stupid things but it just gives me bad chills.

p.s; I'm sorry for the two last subjects I just didn't wanted to let you with jonas only.

p.p.s; I am happy readers:).

p.p.p.s; I'm the Julie of Julie&Julia

p.p.p.p.s; I'm not perfect, but look at the cutee little smile of Nick, it's obvious that we have an inside joke;) (note the dog tags)


"Honestly; Can you believe we crossed the world while it's asleep?. I'd never trade it in, 'cause I've always wanted this, and it's not a dream anymore."