"Sorry" is not enough

IN this very right moment
I'm listening a friend asking me for forgiveness
and for a sick cruel reason, I don't believe him.

I know he isn't lying but it's like it isn't enough, I still have this big lump on my throat.
And it's probably over, I know it will be awkward after this.

So this is the real story about how I care so much about this guy;
Let's call him Nicholas?

Nicholas is this beautiful boy (inside and out) who has this beautiful creamy chocolate eyes, and a great personality. He treated me like I was different and I knew that was just the way he treated every girl.

But I had just finished with a bad feeling that was killing me inside, and well I thought Summer '09 could be different.

So I was going to try like a summer fling, like this short crush that would probably end in the summer ending, 'cause I wouldn't gonna be able to see him again.

Shit happens.

I've never feel like this before, and I don't want to twilight you with all the mushy shit. But I found myself writing happy things about him. And they were actually good.

I missed him when I wasn't around, and he made me feel like he missed me too.

but again...
SHIT HAPPENS

I had this big fight with him. For something stupid, and I took it too seriously 'cause things went out of my reach. I know he won't say it, but now he probably thinks I'm a fucking immature psycho bitch. Who is in love with him for nothing.

I'm not.

But it was a nice, something different, for the first time not feeling alone in a crowd of people.

And I did learn a lot of things, and he made me happy. But I knew it was going to end. So it did.
Today 10/7/09. Probably the only summer fling I will ever have. Probably the only person who will make me feel like that. Probably the love of my life. Probably just some other lesson I had to learn.

It does sucks losing someone. But I won't make a whole deal. Yes I did cried, and yes I'm sad. But this was coming. And those were the rules.

I think I'm just hoping he will read this, I want him to know that I'm sorry for the feelings I should regret. I tend to make a whole deal out of nothing.

Though I want to thank the hands who helped me trough all of this;
Nelly Melo
Armando Guzman
Gilda Sanchez

Thanks for reading and thanks for caring<3.