I'm begging for a little mercy; Please?.

I know you are all busy in your whole world right now.

But mine is tumbling down piece by piece.

I'm finding myself needing the vending out right now. And all my friends are so happy, that I can't be that selfish and messed them up with my problems.

I'm tired of feeling like I'm not worth enough. I feel stupid, and I see them smiling and I know they don't need me.

They keep asking me to change. But I don't want to change, it's too hard. And God knows I've tried too hard. Every time I look around, I'm alone. I can see all of you, and still... I'm alone.

I don't know where I'm supposed to go. But I need you right now. How can I believe in happiness when I don't remember how it feels.

I want to feel normal for the first time in my life, I want to be somebody else. You know how much that sucks to me?. I've always tell that to my friends. BE YOURSELF. DON'T CHANGE FOR ANYBODY. And ironic... Here I am hating the smile I see every morning in the mirror. I can't even lie to myself.

I know the way back home like the back of my hand. But I just don't want to go there again.

I can't feel the tears anymore. It's like my eyes are numb.

I rather die in a hole.

Don't even bother. I will fake a smile. I will throw all up, you will say you are proud. And we'll pretend that everything is okay.

I'll walk away if that's what all of you need. But please. I need somebody to tell me that everything is going to be okay. I need somebody to hold my hand and say that everything is going to be fine.

But daydreams are not enough anymore. I can't keep up like this.

p.s; I'm sorry for all the darkness and bipolarness. I just need this.

"I could go back to every laugh;...But I don’t want to go there anymore."