I can't answer you if I don't know myself where I wanna be.

I know it sucks when you try to make a change. To show that you care, and people take it like an insult.

I know I can break anybody apart, I can be the meanest person if I wanted to.

But I don't.

Last night I couldn't sleep at all, and with all the thinking I finally got the answer of why I have a blog, or why it's so easy for me to trust in anybody.

It's because I don't want my story to be just a grave in the mud. My biggest fear is to be, and once forgotten. So I try to stay, in the memory of somebody.

I guess I always knew this was the answer, but just now is when I'm accepting it.

I hate to be like clear glass though, like I can't lie to my friends. They instantly know, and what bothers me about it, is that at the end I won't have something to call my own.

So I kinda don't know where I stand anymore.

I was reading the last post I made, not the one with the poems but the other one. And I think it made a little bit of controversy cause everybody has been on that place before. So for my own good and others I'm gonna end it.

I didn't specify what do we do in case to be the ones confused, the ones that don't know if to say sorry or wait for something. Even when we do want to apologize.

You can say we are the weak ones 'cause we always end up losing. If you fight back, just a little bit, you are just clarifying that you are the bad one. Even when we say sorry it's not enough. Everything you say is going to be used against your own.

It's weird to say it though 'cause that's where I am right now.

I could say you can wait till the water clears and then eventually come back. But of course they are your friends so why should we hold up?. What are we waiting for anyways?. We said sorry already, we insult them already.

Isn't that what they wanted? a fight?.

Of course not. And we know this. We know is wrong, but what to do when we feel totally uncovered. Tell me what to do when I'm on my weakest point?.

They want you to apologize. But you will never meant it, and that's where they are wrong again. We do.

We just don't know why.

My point is... Don't hold up anything, life won't wait for you to be ready.

'Cause that's the thing about friends.

You sure as hell can live without them. Even if the road gets bumpy.

If they feel this way they will come back. If they just forget about you, why should you stay in the same place waiting for that person?.

Don't be a quitter, that's not what I'm trying to say, what I'm trying to say is that if a friendship ends, then you were never friends. Just two people to hang out with, people that you laugh with, people that you trust. Just for a little while.

'Best friends' is kinda like a feeling. You can't stop it.

And well either way you grow up, and you find why you had to gave up so easily on the most important person of your life.

p.s; This all counts with the person you like too.

p.p.s; I would be lying if I said I don't miss my best friend.

p.p.p.s; Good luck to the ones who lost their best friends.

"Goodbye my best friend; This is no kind of living. Goodnight my love; At least I held you on last time."