I'm going to return that teddy bear you gave me. 'Cause it is not okay.

I hope this is the first and last time I say this. It's kind of uncomfortable to admit.

One of the reasons why I didn't want to create a blog is that I know some things are going to be used as a gossip. Like for example my last post.

I didn't make this(blog) thinking about my friends or the people I know. I wasn't even sure if they were going to read it. Though I'm fine with the idea of them reading (blog).

But I hate to explain what I write, of people who don't understand, of people using my words against myself.

What I post here is likely to stay here. I wrote it because I was thinking of it and I want to forget about it. Not to insult somebody or to confess a really deep secret.

In other words. It's just odd for me. So for further awkward conversations. Don't bring up one of my updates please. I'm not naming the 4 people that yesterday either messaged, or called at my phone for details. Because well we will be in the same page.

I will not use names ever again here. I promise.

ANYWAY. Today my sister was parking her car, and accidentally she crashed over the door. My mom was trying to move the car so it wouldn't get fucked up.She failed. And suddenly she started crying.

The thing is, that my mom is though, she is a strong woman.

She wasn't never the favorite girl, the one everybody picked like her sister.

She isn't perfect.

She has a rocky life. The worst things that can probably break one person happens all in one to her. And she stills holds her head strong like nothing happened. There's always a solution for everything. And she always makes sure that my sister and I always stay away from every one of her problems.

And tonight. Tonight she cried over nothing. I personally don't think it was because of the car. I'm sure something else happened. But she won't tell.

When I saw her cursing at nothing and letting some tears spill from her eyes. Every other stupid idea vanished.

She wanted to hug her mom.

Those moments when you just want your mom to rock you in her lap and whisper that everything is going to be okay.

It made me realize that I've spend the whole weekend next to her and I haven't hug her. Not once.

She always complains, she yells, she doesn't always takes the right decisions, she is not always home.

But she is my mom, and I wouldn't have her any other way.

Thanks mom, for teaching me how to live. Those subjects are never seen in school. Thanks for not getting in the way when I was growing, and even then thanks for your advices. Thanks mom for being my mom.

p.s; You know what?. I miss my grandma too T.T

p.p.s; I didn't mean back there that a couple of 'wow i love your writing' or 'loved your post' aren't well welcoming ;).

p.p.p.s; Hug your mom, and if you don't have one. Pray for her, I'm sure she will hear :).

"When violet eyes get brighter, and heavy wings grow lighter, I'll taste the sky and feel alive again. And I'll forget the world that I knew; But I swear I won't forget you."